My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
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