you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
