I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Randomize
