is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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