I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
porn star boner night. come get it.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Randomize
