He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
