why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Randomize
