I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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