No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
