ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
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