i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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