i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
