Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Randomize
