actually, I'm a sock model
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
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