YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
