Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
