some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Randomize
