dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
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