You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
