so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
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