More tranny stories later!
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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