Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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