it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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