So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize