I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Randomize
