If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
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