D3 body, D1 cock
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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