My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
My vagina just recognized that song.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Randomize
