The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
