That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
