Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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