Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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