Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Randomize
