i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
