yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
