Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
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