Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
