3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize
