just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
