You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Randomize
