That's when you crack a 10am beer
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
