I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
