I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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