just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
