i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
