I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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