yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
