Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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