No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
