Just mADE A PArabola og urine
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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