Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
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