The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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