Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Randomize
