FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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