Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize