Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
