I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
