I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
