what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
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