ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
