Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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