so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I still have a little drunk in my system
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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