i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize